The story of how I found myself in the arms of the angels…

In 2010, I was running against the clock like every other parent out there, constantly racing from work, to school, to babysitters and after school activities. Juggling my three young children and supporting my husband as he built up his new business was stressful, but despite the busyness, I was happy with my load. I married a very good man, I had my health, I wasn’t in severe debt, I liked my job, I had healthy children; on paper I was everything society told me I should be & I had achieved all I had set out to achieve. When I was 23, I made a very definite plan. I was feeling uprooted and ungrounded after my parents deaths and I can remember lying on a heap on their grave swearing I would never feel this pain or insecurity again. I remember denying myself the luxury of tears, instead resolving to put my shoulder against the wheel, gain complete independence and build a life that could not be swept from me. I walked out of the cemetery that day with a hardened jaw and tunnel vision.

In 2001 I married the love of my life and we began putting down roots. For the first time in years I belonged somewhere. However I was always aware that my past was one step behind me and I was determined to outrun it and I busied myself with three children under three and a career in medical devices. I was very good at packing more and more distraction into my days. In 2010, I was suddenly struck down with a mystery illness, causing extreme vertigo like symptoms, fainting and unconsciousness. These spells continued for six months, during which time I could not work or drive and was forced to ask for and accept help with school runs and minding my children. I found it difficult and humbling, however the many hospital stays left me little choice. Doctors were helpful and hospital tests were thorough but in the end all yielded the same result, ‘nil’ or ‘clear’ which in itself was a frustrating process. Reluctantly I  ventured down the alternative route for answers & while those answers never came, I found that in 3 short weeks of attending an osteopath and a Reiki practitioner, my symptoms reduced so drastically that I could resume driving and working. It was a pleasant bonus that the energy sessions tremendously relieved my boughs of depression and anxiety, which in turn led me down a path of self-discovery.

Inevitably, my past caught up with me and I found myself in a dark hole in September 2011. I told my husband I had the flu and I took to my bed for three days. I was so tired. I felt like I had woken up from a dream and I didn’t know how I got here. The grief, the pain and the years of un-cried tears had bubbled to the surface and become quiet an overwhelming force that I could no longer bury. I didn’t know if I could survive. I always had tremendous faith and so I prayed for help and on the 3rd day I had an overwhelming urge to start writing… I started off writing gibberish but it quickly transformed into a therapeutic outpouring of everything and anything I had ever felt or experienced. I could hardly keep up with my racing thoughts and was amazed at the emotions that were spilling onto the many, many pages. Years of suffering in silence was unlocking and untangling from deep within and appearing in front of me from the end of my pen. By the end of the day I had scraped the bottom of the barrel, I was completely empty, I had no more to give. I had stripped it all back, all the masks were gone. It was then as I sat there completely depleted, that a surreal vision unfolded and enveloped me. The room and my bed lit up with what can only be described as thick, white, fluorescent light and it completely surrounded me. A cool, calm peace washed over me as if I was being nurtured and held. I mustered the energy to mouth into the air, “what’s happening” and clearly heard “angels”. I was too exhausted to be afraid and considered that maybe I had actually died. Then a gentle voice told me to “lie down and sleep”. I drifted off into amazing dreams where I conversed with my mother and was guided to start meditating. I found over the weeks that followed that the writing had completely emptied me and the Meditation was the beautiful fuel that was filling me up in a constructive, positive way.

Meditation enabled me to tap into an inner peace that I had never known in my life and it was helping me to finally stop running. As time went on, my relationship and visions of the angels strengthened and developed and many spiritual gifts opened and unlocked. Initially I questioned these new visions, but the peace I felt was too good to ignore. I was never afraid. I was always calm and to be honest I had spent so much of my life scared and anxious that this was a very welcome reprieve! I can only describe it as going from living my life in black and white to living my life in Colour. This eventually led me to study energy medicine and all things spiritual.

Propelled by the memories of a painful past, a burning desire grew within me to help others find that same peace within. I’m now a therapist where I can tune into someone’s energy and, calling on my faith, set about removing any energy blocks. My biggest passion however is to empower people that they need not look outside of themselves for the answers. There is no guru expert on your life… YOU ARE IT baby (another blog)! I’ve also gone on to teach many energies and run Reiki Shares for therapists, and various other workshops with a common goal of getting others to awaken to their own innate healing power. I also guide weekly meditation groups with a driving passion to help others stop running and start living in their inner peace.

I’ll be honest…this new choice of lifestyle is so far removed from the old me that many don’t understand who I have become. That’s ok, I have no desire to control what others think of me or my work, I can only do my best with what I have. The positive changes I have seen in those whom I have worked with gives me the strength to keep going. This journey is forever evolving…

This blog is an opportunity to share some of my story in the hope that it may be of service to others on their path…